Going Back…

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I recently watched a sermon by Sarah Jakes Roberts, WHEWW, she can preach. I was wrecked in the best way possible, it was called ‘Sent Back’ and it had to do with the story of God using Moses even when he was unsure see he was running from what God had for him. He was trying to run from what he thought was meant for confusion and destruction but really God was trying to show him he needed to go back with vision to get back the favor he was running away from. Sarah Jakes goes on to talk about how, “God is going to send you back to where you were oppressed not to feel the pain again or fail again but instead to pick up the favor they left behind, to grow from this test to walk out with victory”   

It got me thinking of my testimony I found myself relating to Moses more than I ever thought I would. I found myself reflecting and seeing that the places I thought I was fighting to get out of were really places that God had planned to use to grow me and stretch me. To show me I am a victor to show me the devil has no hold on me, the pain I felt in those places I now know how to walk it out with the word. I’m never meant to go back and relive my oppression but God spoke very clearly to me I was meant to use my  testimony to heal people to bring them back to God. To know who their true Father is. I spent so long running away from my testimony because even though I’m healed I haven’t walked back to a lot of those memories. God told me until I walk through every place I was beaten down, broken, and defeated, I won’t be able to share my testimony and say I left all those places when It was finished. I didn’t truly finish what God had for me in those places, I walked out defeated, there’s still places I hesitate walking into, there’s still memories I’ve shoved down to a point I thought I would never have to “relive” it, I walked out without finishing through what God had to do with me in those places. BUT I can’t just know that and not go back, I’m going back and I’m walking through it all and listen when I tell you I felt the Holy Spirit fire inside of me PHEWWW.. Yall I never was gonna walk through my testimony or walk up in those places, when God told me I was going to need to share my full testimony I was like no you got the wrong one. I am really obedient to God but I will say I didn’t want to do that but delayed obedience is still disobedience. Let me say for the record I didn’t want to be disobedient and spoiler I am going to do it but my testimony is so full of so many things and it’s not something to brag about, the devil really tried to destroy me he thought he robbed me of all of my joy and innocence. What he didn’t know is I took my innocence and joy back he never really got to keep it. There are so many different parts of my testimony and I never wanted to tell people about the abuse, the daddy issues, anxiety and depression, rape, the abortion, the hatred towards men, the brokeness that I became. But that’s why God has called me back to tell it because I left with unfinished business and I left with the spirit of defeat. I left thinking I was never going to tell anyone my testimony because I was scared for people to see me differently and I was unsure if my testimony would even speak to anyone but God allowed me to use part of my testimony yesterday with my cousin and it was truly one of those “wait did I really just say that?” moments. I told her a part of my testimony that I had been scared to share with my family and it was just pouring out of me and the way that she responded and the way she opened up to me just by me sharing my testimony was surreal. I’m telling you it was just a true moment of me being in total awe of what God was doing through me, the way that God is using me and allowing me to be a vessel to even lead people to Him is just insane in the best way possible. See in that moment I felt what God was doing, I understood more how Moses felt, I was like so you mean to tell me I have to go through this a million times over again…. Ummm.. who now? But it’s in demand, God needs what is inside of us. What I went through to help people understand the true grace He allows us to experience. God calls us out of our comfort zone not because we deserve it or we’ve earned it but because of who He is. He qualifies us and promote us. He will call you to new heights and cause you to walk back into the places you once thought you would never make it out of. That room you had your innocence stripped, that house where you first tried the drug where the devil thought he had you, that memory you pushed down and never wanted to share, the business you started and let crumble. Gods’ going to send you back but not the same way you were there before He’s sending you in fully charged with the word, with the Truth. Gods’ sending you back in as a devil stomping child of God, a victor. What you thought you needed to run away from is actually where God started doing His deepest work in YOU. I never thought I’d look at my testimony and thank God for how I came to know Him but I’ll tell you this I’d go through it a million times again if it means I’d end up here where I’m at today. I’m telling you first hand it’ll seem scary, It will truly feel like it can’t be done but It can and it will. The reason all that stuff happened was because the devil wanted to steal your joy and he wanted you to claim defeat but you walk back in those places with the Holy Spirit guiding you and you watch how quick the devil flees and trembles. The devil had no idea who he was trying to rob, and when you go back to those places God is going to restore and give back ten times what the devil tried to steal from you and I say TRIED because he will never win. The devil stays in defeat because the victory is all in Jesus. You’ll worry what people will think, trust me I did too but that’s not for us to worry about. Whatever it is that God is asking you to step out on wether it’s sharing your testimony on youtube, starting that business again in a new way, switching careers, or even if it’s the first time surrendering it all and giving it to God. Whatever it is, do it with the knowledge that God’s provision is all over us always all he asks is that we be faithful and obedient. Do it even when the natural says otherwise because I’m telling you in the supernatural He is fighting for YOU everyday. He is preparing that spot for you, so whatever God’s put on your heart allow Him to lead you because all that the devil meant to harm you with and steal from you God is going to show you the Light in the midst of the darkness. Whatever desires and ideas God is putting in your heart He’s already seen you do it, He’s already fought the battles and continues to do so. Go back to that place see how amazing it feels to grieve who you were and celebrate who you are now, celebrate the joy and authority that you took back. Wheww, In Jesus name. Start taking the steps because God’s got big plans for you and He’s just waiting for you to take back the authority. Stomp the devil out and show him he never had a hold on you and never will, in Jesus name. Have faith and jump into what God has for you. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4: ” Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God

God Is Good All The Time

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